KnowledgeForward

Could social networking addicts picture life without MySpace? The Onion, a satirical newspaper, doesn’t think so.

MySpace Outage Leaves Millions Friendless

However, because the sudden lack of friends has deprived MySpace users of comments, bulletin posts, and searches for elementary school crushes, it is feared that the ordeal could inflict long-term psychological damage. In Chicago alone, an estimated 50,000 people remain trapped in their apartments, with no way of contacting the outside world about new bands, Adult Swim cartoons, or the latest video games.

“I lost 6,456 of my best friends in an instant,” said Minneapolis resident Peter Steinberg, 20, who has loyally befriended as many profiles as possible over the past two years. “Nothing can describe how devastated I feel. Some of these people I’ve exchanged two, even three comments with, and I can’t tell you how many ROTFLMAOs we’ve shared, too.”